


First I Just Gotta Find Your Dad

by HelloitsVehere



Series: One Short ✿ [1]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Adopted Children, Angst, Guitar, M/M, Parenthood, Pining, Singing, shyan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 12:44:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20817494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloitsVehere/pseuds/HelloitsVehere
Summary: Ryan makes an acoustic music video.





	First I Just Gotta Find Your Dad

**Author's Note:**

> Base on the song "Dear Winter" by AJR (⌒▽⌒)  
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUSI4n_74LA)
> 
> Ryan said he wanted a child in one of his friend's podcast + Guitara Bergara in 2019 (´ڡ`)  
#guitarabergara don't let it die!!

Ryan sits on his bed, his legs crossed in the lights-off bedroom. On his hand, the guitar that he has been practice since last month. The Instagram story didn’t bring up a lot of attention but it’s ok, still better than Shane telling him to play guitar for his stupid hot dog story.

  
  
He has borrowed the camera stand from their set and brought it home, thankfully didn’t damage it. TJ is going to kill him if anything happened.

  
  
Then, he set his dim string of lights in the background for the ‘aesthetics’. He’s maybe a ghost hunter but he knows how to make a good video ok? ‘Five years of being a film student really helped’ he thinks just as the yellow-ray lines melt over his white pillowcases and blankets. 

It’s a cozy summer night, the new episode was uploaded yesterday and today they have a celebration. As Ryan tunes his strings and quickly turn on the camera, he remembers Shane at the party.

He was wearing a Boogara shirt and dark jeans. Others were joking about how he looks like a dad, the type of dad who would crack dad jokes every five minutes. And he did, for the sake of the banter.  


Ryan can’t help it, he was kind of sober when he left but the mood there was doing… stuff to him. He re-calls only have two drinks with Mark and Kelsey then spend the rest of the night zone out. The decoration lights on top of his head didn’t help either, they highlighted Shane’s features. It was difficult not to stare at his cheekbones and downward eyes, along with his tall nose. He was a masterpiece, a living sculpture.

  
  
Aside from that, Ryan’s aware of TJ and Shane’s message, spoiling him for leaving his own wrap-up party. Yeah sure, he’s the host, blame him for falling in love with his co-host why don’t you?

  
  
He checks the set one last time before finally hit ‘record’ button, his hand tense on the finger broad.

  
  
Alright, he can do this.

  
  
He makes eye contact with the lens once then focuses on how the strings vibrate under his digits. He wet his lips and sings.

  
  
Dear Winter, I hope you like your name

I hope they don't make fun of you

When you grow up and go to school, okay?

'Cause Winter is a badass name

He was bullied a lot during his school years, mostly about how he believed in ghosts and such a nerd in the horror genre. He knows how to stand up for himself eventually. He wondered if his kid would do the same. Ryan has gone through some local schools near Buzzfeed so their journey from home to work won’t be too complicated. And, the education system will be better somehow, he hopes so. He doesn’t want his child to waste time being self-conscious about tests and marks like him.

  
  
Dear Winter, I hope you talk to girls

Or boys or anyone you like

I just hope you don't stay in every night

'Cause I wish I was out tonight

Ryan didn’t even think he was able to like boys, not every country is open about LGBTQ yet. He has a gay crisis when he was nineteen, the time he realizes he like his basketball team captain. It was… an interesting time to say at least. He’ll definitely teach his kid about love interest when they’re ready, avoid doing research about ‘how to feel toward your same-sex friend’. And maybe how to _ pick _ love interest too. Those girls he dated in high school were straight out of the ‘Mean Girls’ cast. He smiles to himself, imagine being a strict dad, telling his kid they’re not ready to go out with ‘those people’.  
  
The breeze of party night agrees with him from the open windows, he misses those tingles when he was at the bar. Ryan wondered what his friends were doing right now. 

  
  
It really doesn't seem like there's anyone for me

But dear Winter, I hope you like your name

I'm hoping that someday, I can meet you on this Earth

But shit, I gotta meet your mom first

He stopped dating for a while to concentrate on working as an intern for Buzzfeed. Yeah, he felt left out when the rest of the group start hanging out with their love ones while he stays at home, has a date night with his murder cases. But it was good to be single, you can be yourself, careless, free. Yet Ryan wishes his little one have someone to love, someone they can trust and spend time with. He can’t be the perfect number-one parent who’d always be there for their child.

Dear Winter, I hope you like this song

And even when you're 13

And you scream at me for parenting you wrong

I hope it's still a badass song

The ‘perfect number-one parent’ doesn’t exist, he confirmed it. He believed in ghost and aliens but the flawless parent? That’s one of the most ridiculous theories he has ever made up. Even the Bergaras isn’t superb. He was raised to ‘love your family’ and ‘don’t be disrespectful’, you know, typical Asian household. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t have fights and argue throughout his childhood. He could _ try _ to be a good dad, it gonna take a lot of attempts but progress is progress. He would change for his son, daughter. Maybe both.

  
  
It really doesn't seem like there's anyone for me

But dear Winter, I hope you like your name

You know I cannot wait to teach you how to curse

But shit, I gotta meet your mom first

Cursing at a young age. Hah. He wouldn’t do that.

  
  
Dear Winter, don't move too far away

And please don't say I'm hovering

When I text you to ask about your day

I wanna hear about your day

When he was deep in paperwork and Wikipedia articles, he was really snappy. And at that point, anyone that dares to separate him with his cup of caffeine _ will _ die. Well, not that climactic. But he would ignore texts from his roommates, his brother, even his mother. He could understand the burden his children will have to carry and let them have some time alone. However, keeping track of your kid is important, just don’t be too restrictive.

  
  
Will we still hang out and talk when I'm no longer in charge?

Oh, dear Winter, I hope you like your name

I hope you let me take a shot with you on your 21st

But shit, you gotta ask your mom first

One day they will be full-grown adults and he might have to ask them about the new technology like the old man he is. They’ll get their job, their own place, maybe their own family. But he prayed that he can be in touch with his cuties. The bottle of wine in the attic doesn’t have to wait long.

Dear Winter, I'm looking for your dad

I gotta find a boy that doesn't mind that I'm inside my head a lot

Winter, just please, don’t get mad

First, I just gotta find your dad

  
The last notes fade through the air, leaving only him and the smell of summertime. His face suddenly felt cold. He wipes the moisture on to his sleeves and hit ‘stop’ on the camcorder.  
  
Maybe Shane’ll appreciate his effort in being a song-cover-writer.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the reference of Shane and TJ's message!  
(https://yaboybergara.tumblr.com/post/174488034586/drunk-tj-and-drunk-shane-with-an-important-message)


End file.
